The Sexuality Trap, Stabilizing Hormones and the CraniumAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and effects.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready as well).
B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with someone we are brought in to extremely difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, nearness, well-being, and love .
But when Get the facts issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however directory the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys especially in city areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".
However, North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow in time.
Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with typical sense. While click for info excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!