The Sexuality Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the CraniumAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, making love carries tremendous meaning and repercussions.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).
B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to extremely difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .
However when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've More hints got issues, however the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that much of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay men specifically in city areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".
North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!