The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the HeadAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, making love brings immense significance and repercussions.
Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready also).
B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to extremely tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , causing powerful feelings of destination, excitement, well-being, nearness, and love .
When issues occur, those who fall Visit This Link into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They probably wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that many of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay men especially in urban areas, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sex. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, many gay guys want to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".
North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't home control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow with time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!