The Sex Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the SkullAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex carries immense significance and consequences.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be great as well).
B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to incredibly tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, love, wellness, and nearness .
When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that a number of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys particularly in city locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sex. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, many gay guys desire to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".
North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is crucial. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can browse around here grow over time.
Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!