The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the HeadAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and effects.
Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:
A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).
B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to extremely hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , causing powerful sensations of destination, excitement, closeness, love, and well-being .
However when issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't admit find it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay men specifically in urban locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".
Nonetheless, North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow in time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your go right here vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!