The Sex Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the SkullAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, making love carries tremendous meaning and repercussions.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:
A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent as well).
B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to exceptionally difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, love, and wellness .
But when problems occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that much of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay men specifically in metropolitan locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex see here now isn't really going to be excellent?".
North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow over time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!