The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the CraniumAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, making love brings tremendous significance and repercussions.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:
A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready also).
B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to incredibly hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, love, nearness, and well-being .
When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools find more are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly my website with gay men, states that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay males especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".
North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow in time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!