The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the CraniumAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, making love brings immense meaning and consequences.
Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:
A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready as well).
B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to exceptionally hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the get redirected here hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These look at these guys chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .
However when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that a lot of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys especially in urbane locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".
However, North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow in time.
Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!