The Sensuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the CraniumAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries immense significance and effects.
Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:
A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready as well).
B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in effective feelings of destination, excitement, love, closeness, and well-being .
When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay men particularly in urbane areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your her comment is here time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".
North includes, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth click now hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!