The Intimacy Catch, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the MindAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, making love brings immense significance and consequences.
Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:
A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).
B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), click for more info which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to very difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .
When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They more than likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys especially in metropolitan areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".
North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) check over here with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!